Something on the side?

Is Cybersex Cheating?

It’s pretty clear that tearing off someone’s underwear and performing unmentionable acts on them in a hotel room when you’re not married is cheating.

But what if you just described it to someone else?

The advent of the internet means that it has never been easier to make new connections. Whether it’s the building of new friendships on social media sites like Facebook or finding potential dates through sites like Match.com, finding people who share your interests is a piece of cake. Traditional hurdles for making friends such as geography, personal appearance and shyness can all be circumvented to a degree.

And then of course, chatrooms, Skype and messaging software make it possible to have conversations with people for free at any time of night or day. How much time is wasted in offices with friends chatting like this? Little wonder then, that the human imagination has taken advantage of this situation to explore new sexual avenues.

What is “Cybersex?”

Put simply, cybersex is the use of chat software to describe a sexual encounter between two or more people. Essentially, you describe to the other person what you are ‘doing’ to them, and they respond by describing their reactions. Put coldly in this way, it might sound and and impersonal, but experienced practitioners describe is as every bit as erotic as actual sex.

In many ways, freed from the constraints of our every day appearance and persona, we can be far ’sexier’ in an online environment. You might be short, fat and hairy but you can choose to portray yourself in whatever light you choose online.

Cybersex often encourages people to break taboos. It might be difficult to approach a real person to tell them of something you really want to do but it is far easier to find a like minded soul on a specialist website  and broach the subject in text.

Does this constitute infidelity?

It very much depends on your point of view. Some people say that cybersex is nothing more than an extended version of the kind of fantasies that we all keep hidden. Others, perhaps more realistically, point out that cybering is a very intimate exchange of ideas and words that is far more serious in intent and meaning than, say, sharing a joke or a common interest.

Some people believe that cyber acts as a ’safety valve’ for a lot of people who at one time might have sought to physically realise their desires. More commonly, people see connection on this level as a threat to their real life relationships.

In traditional terms, fluids haven’t been swapped so no adultery has been committed. But clearly, the intimacy implied by a cybersexual relationship is very great indeed. To most people, this would constitute cheating on some level. It is no wonder that eve single people who engage in cybersex do not publically own up to the fact – much less the married man or woman.