Something on the side?

How to avoid getting caught having an affair

If you are having a marital affair then in all likelihood you don’t want to get caught.Possibly you still love your partner and your affair is just a way to get some sexual excitement. Or maybe you have kids and would hate to see them get hurt. Or maybe you just can’t afford a divorce.

Either way, protecting yourself from discovery is absolutely paramount. Here’s some tips to help you get away with your naughtiness.

• The overarching principle is: keep it simple. The more complex your life becomes, the more opportunities there are for something to go wrong.
• Don’t develop regular patterns of behaviour. “Working late” in the office is fine from time to time. When it starts happening every Thursday, you’re going to need explanations as to why that is. Even if you have a convincing explanation, eventually your partner is going to start resenting the fact that you’re always late and never seem to get a promotion
• Keep separate communication channels. It should be a no-brainer, but using your everyday email account to make arrangements or swap sordid messages with a lover leaves you open to a massive danger. Email addresses from the like of Hotmail, Yahoo and Gmail are free and can be dedicated to certain relationships you don’t want anyone else to know about. Make sure, of course, to use a careful choice of username and password that is different to those you use for day to day activities.
• Don’t take uneccessary risks. Part of the sheer excitement of having an affair rests with the danger. But it is foolish to start increasing that danger through choice. Sure, sex in a back alley might be the most exciting of your life, but you’ve literally no idea who might walk around the corner. If it’s someone who knows either of you – however tangentially – the game could be up.
• Don’t lie to your lover. You’re already engaging in lies as it is. But if you start telling your lover that you see a great future for you together just to get them into the sack then you’re multiplying your risks many times over. If this is just excitement on the side then just tell the other person so they know where they stand. That way, you lessen the risk of unwanted emotional attachments.
• Don’t like to yourself. Don’t kid yourself about your motivations. If you want out of a marriage then you’re better seeking legal advice than a shag on the side.
• Don’t make your secrecy too obvious. If you have a workaday email account, make sure your partner has the password so that they feel that they are trusted. Likewise, don’t be too obvious about keeping your phone hidden or on your person at all times. Make sure that your lover knows when, where and how to contact you when their is the least chance of discovery.
• Don’t trust people with your secret. Unburdening yourself to a friend might seem like a sensible step from an emotional perspective but now the number of people who could potentially blow your cover through a careless word or conversation is suddenly much, much higher.

Many people think they’re clever enough – or their partners stupid enough – for them to get away with the most colossal risks. But taking risks puts your life in the hands of luck rather than judgement. By following the precautionary principles behind these practical steps, you’re giving yourself the best chance of getting away with your affair.

Good luck!

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