Having an affair with a married man

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So you want to be “the other woman”. Maybe you get off on the fact that you’re fucking some other woman’s husband just because it is so very, very wrong. Or perhaps you actually love this guy and hope that, one day, he’ll leave his wife and run to your arms. Or it could be that you’re both simply after a little bit of mutual fun.

All ways up, you’re treading a line that can be both thrilling and dangerous.

Firstly, you’re messing with something that – even now- is a totem of society: marriage. While everyone knows that marriages today are less of a permanent feauture.

…an undeleted text message or a pair of knickers left in a glovebox can have disastrous outcomes for all of you…

Secondly, you’re messing with another woman. Time after time in these pages, we cover lives that are ruined (or even ended) when affairs are discovered. It isn’t uncommon for a woman to want vengeance on the other woman ahead of her husband.

Thirdly, you could be messing with a man’s happiness. He might have come into the affair thinking that he loved his wife but wanted a casual shag on the side. But what if he starts to fall for you? Are you prepared to handle the consequences if one day he turns up on your doorstep with a dozen roses and a suitcase of his belongings? What starts in mere sex can quickly escalate into something more profound unless there is total honesty between the lovers about what they are looking to get out of their affair.

Finally, consider whether kids are involved. You might not especially care if you hurt his wife by stealing or fucking her husband – hell, maybe she even deserves it – but do his children deserve. It could be that his marriage is headed for the rocks anyway, but how far you want to contribute to that process is something that you have to live with between you and your conscience.

Chances are that, like so many, you will be caught up in a whirlwind of lust and blind to potential consequences. But remember, no matter how many precautions you take, an undeleted text message or a pair of knickers left in a glovebox can have disastrous outcomes for all of you.

Some advice…

  1. Be honest about your intentions
  2. Be as sure as you can be about his intentions
  3. Think about his wife, children and domestic situation
  4. Do not get too casual about contacting him if his intention is to stay with his wife
  5. Walk away if you think there is a danger of discovery
Monday, January 25th, 2010 Adultery Tips for affairs and cheating

2 Comments to Having an affair with a married man

Sebby
October 16, 2011

I need advice…

It is without a doubt morally wrong to have an affair with a married man, I know this, I was taught this.

…but it does not stop you from thinking about it.

I’m a 19 year old woman, a virgin, I’ve never once been kissed or have even been out on a date with a man- not because I’m ugly or horribly scarred, [I am quite pretty] It is because I’m a recluse and I work from home. Because of that, It is rare that I am on the receiving end of male attention.

I am not twisted enough to get off from the idea of “-fucking some other woman’s husband” and I do not love this man, I don’t even want mutual fun. I am simply at my lowest right now, my brother is terminally ill, my father does not have much time left either. There is so much drama going around the only thing I want is to be held, comforted, distracted.

So I have known both him and his wife since I was 15, the husband has always had a very flirty personality and I think it was smart of me to keep wary of him for the past four years and keep as little contact as possible with him. I sensed he was trouble then and I sense it now.

But lately he has been talking to me more often,his marriage is really in the pits, apparently there is no intimacy, they get into fights over it and he seems very confused and depressed.

He has started saying things like “what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her” I instantly think that that is the, stupidest, sleaziest line ever–but the more he says those types of things, the more appealing it is to me?

So I need advice, I either listen to what he says, and go into something that I KNOW I’ll regret later…

OR I tell his wife the truth about him. If I did tell her, it would surely destroy what is left of their marriage, as would me having an affair with him if she found out. And I’m certain that she would, because Karma IS a bitch. And I should know better than to fuck with a force like that, much less another woman’s husband. But the thought is there, and it is tempting.

So would it be better to not tell her about him? I don’t know what to do…

[Fake name, spare email address for privacy]

Sebby
October 16, 2011

And they have no children.

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