Serious Adultery

Amy Winehouse Adultery & Divorce

Amy Winehouse has found herself divorced following some extra-marital shindigs. Frankly, we’d have divorced her on the basis of irreconcilable hair, but there you go. Her estranged hubbie, Blake Fielder-Civil was granted the divorce by decree nisi after Winehouse admitted adultery in court.

Normally, in cases of celebrity cheating, we find that it’s because the famous party is stunning, gifted and rich. Whoever thought that an encounter with the skeletal Winehouse, pepped up on goofballs and wandering around reeking of gin represented an attractive proposition has our sympathy.

Surely no coincidence that he wasn’t named in court. Would you have publicly confessed to having had her gnashers anywhere near your groin?

Enid Blyton Adultery: Is Nothing Sacred??

We're not sure how she got *one* man - let alone two

Noddy. The Famous Five. The Secret Seven. Thatched cottages and lashings of ginger beer. That’s the Enid Blyton we know. But a new TV drama, starring Helena Bonham-Carter and with the approval of Blyton’s daughter Imogen is set to reveal that the author was actually “bonkers”.

Maybe that’s no news to anyone, but the show also reveals that she was a cold-blooded adulteress. Cripes!

Blyton’s daughters have explicitly endorsed the show’s portrayal of heras a weird, distant and manipulative mother. Amongst authors of children’s books, this is surprisingly common. It is held by some that the best children’s authors are themselves childlike and unable to deal with adult relationships.

Having said that, there was nothing childlike in Blyton’s affairs – which were numerous. Perhaps the most stunning news of all is that her elder daughter is to announce in an upcoming book of reminisces about life with her mother that Blyton was also having a lesbian affair with the girls’ nanny.

If this sort of thing is common among children’s authors, we’re still hoping that J.K. Rowling is still playing the field. She’s a prime piece of wizard-writing ass, and no mistake.

Ronnie Wood Divorces After Affair (you guessed it!)

Happier times for the rock legend and his wife

I don’t what you expect if you marry a Rolling Stone. Well, if you marry one now, you can probably look forward to wild weekends of woodland walks, or sharing a packet of Werthers Originals whilst complaining about the volume on the Antiques Roadshow.

You know how old the Stones are? Jokes about them being old are old!

Anyway, Jo Wood married Ronnie at the height of the Stones’ fame. And in those days they cut a rather  different dash. Drugs. Drink. Women. Violence – even murder – followed the Stones wherever they went. They were the high priests of the rock ‘n’ roll myth. At the centre of it in the seventies was the quasi love-affair between Ronnie Wood and Keef. Both louche outsiders with a taste for decadent behaviour on the road. Perhaps surprisingly, Ronnie was happily married for all that time.

So it’s kind of sad to learn that Ronnie and Jo are calling it quits. Of all the Stones, he seemed the most grounded – with none of the nose-tweaking self mythology that surrounded the others. He genuinely was just one of the lads.

Anyway, after all those years of hellraising, it’s awful to see that he’s finally been caught dipping his wick where he shouldn’t and wound up in court. The divorce leaves Jo a cool £6.5 million better off, but really – can you put a price on being married to a Rolling Stone?

Ricky Whittle: Dancer, Actor, Cheat

Whittle setting nether regions aflame

Ricky Whittle’s chiselled caramel torso has been setting fire to the nations’ collective undergarments ever since he strutted onto the stage in this year’s Strictly Come Dancing. As well as his Hollywood good lucks and Hollyoaks fan club, he has also been seeing fellow Channel 4 stunner Carley Stenson – who plays opposite him in the teatime soap.

The couple have announced their split and it is believed to have its roots in – yep, you guessed it – infidelity.

Whittle is alleged to have been sleeping with model Charlie Allen last year after meeting her in a Blackpool nightclub (the glamourous lives of the stars!) and plying her with classic lies like “I’m single” and  ”bald men are sexier”

Anyway, after stumbling on together for a year, Whittle has found out the hard way that adultery can be a one-way pass to singledom.

I’m sure he’s very bothered by that. Bastard.

Fergie’s Husband Cheating?

You see? Proper legitimate news sources say it too

Black Eyed Peas singer Fergie is famous for… er… being the singer in the Black Eyed Peas, I guess. She’s smokin’ hot and loaded. And yet, according to reports, her 10 month old marriage to Josh Duhamel is under strain following claims made by a stripper that he had a fling with her.

Normally for celebs, they’re the ones out cheating. They’re talented, wealthy and have millions of acolytes who’ll try anything to get a squeeze on their favourite poster boy/girl. All that temptation means that more often than not, the childhood sweetheart they married finds themselves dumped in favour of some amazing piece of ass.

The flipside of the coin is someone like Duhamel finding themselves alone at home while their spouse is off gallavanting around the globe on promotional junkets.

Hell – people whose spouses are accountants get the urge to fill a gap in their lives while hubby is at a Account Expo 09 in Pissant Hill, Georgia. God knows what it’s like when your partner is a world-class sex bomb away on tour for 9 months of the year.

Anyway, the couple are staying tight-lipped. In the absence of a PR war, that might mean that the couple of spending private time together to sort out their troubles, rather than fighting it out through the pages of the scandal sheets.

Here’s hoping they make it! (although: Fergie honey – my number is….)

Chris Martin Denies Adultery Claims. Prissily.

Nah. You probably wouldn't. Would you??

Celebrities are under pretty much 24 hour scrutiny today. Apart from a few moments sat on the toilet, they’re pretty much always in the public eye – and even then there’s probably a paparazzo laying on the floor among the piss with a camera on a stick. The first person to catch Britney having a wee is quids in. Possibly.

Anyway, everyone knows that Chris Martin is a hippy washout who also happens to be married to a really hot chick. He’s the last man on earth to have the balls or the motivation to screw around. So tabloid editors would love a scoop where it was revealed that he was boning Miss India or something.

Couple these two facts together and it turns out that if Chris Martin is in the same room as a hot chick, someone’s going to come forward with a spurious story. In this case, Some Guy claims he saw the singer kissing and canoodling Kate Bosworth. The drippy frontman angrily denied the claims, a spokesperson saying:

“It simply never happened. She may have been in the same room with him, but he is not having an affair, was not kissing her or holding her hand.”

So there we are. His reputation as the gutless half-man of rock remains safely intact.

Tags: Celebrity Cheats