Housewife Confessions: Adultery

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Only rarely do we get to hear the story of an adulterer first hand. Suppressed into silence either because they are still evading detection, or through shame after what they have done has become public. In the first of what we hope will be a regular series, we lift the lid on the thoughts and experiences of a self confessed adulteress.

Our sincerest thanks to our first confessor.

If you would like to confess – with the absolute, cast-iron certainty that we won’t release any information that might identify you, you can contact us here.

Tell us something about yourself

I’m a middle class, church going, mother of 3 … with a pierced fanny.

When did you first contemplate an affair?

I’d chosen the date knowing that my husband would be away that night. That way I wouldn’t have to look him in the eye for 36 hours after it had happened.

I never contemplated having my first affair. It’s the classic story which starts, “It just happened”. I’d never considered myself anything but faithful. My marriage hadn’t been happy for a while although I’d tried to brush the discontentment away. When I started talking to him it was purely as friends. Actually, we were friends of a friend on the internet. And the internet is where it stayed for most of its duration. I was undeniably attracted to him and we flirted outrageously but that was all that I would ever do.

Then one day the flirting went a little bit further. We were talking on MSN and started describing what we would like to do to each other. I honestly can’t remember who started it first but from then on we were incredibly intense. We ‘spoke’ most of the day everyday when he was at work and even when our spouses were near us at home.

How did you go about arranging it?

We tried for a very long time not to meet. Neither of us had ever been unfaithful before and so it seemed like such a big step. but, inevitably we decided it had to happen. Arranging things was easy. He took a morning off work and I dropped my daughter of at pre-school before heading to a car park at a woodland park.

I’d chosen the date knowing that my husband would be away that night. That way I wouldn’t have to look him in the eye for 36 hours after it had happened.

Did you have any guilt after the first time you cheated?

At every stage, from driving to the meeting point, to the first moment I looked in his eyes, our first kiss … I asked myself “Is this the point when I should start feeling guilty?”. But I never did. Even when I was driving away, knowing he had been intimate with me in a way that only my husband had for the past 13 years, I didn’t feel anything except happiness.

I now know that I could have driven straight to my husband and looked him in the eye with absolutely no problem.

What I got out of it was fun, passion, confirmation that I was worth more than a cook, cleaner and mother

What were looking to get out of the affair?

I can’t say I was looking to get anything out of the affair. That would suggest that I had thought about it in that way. It was a spontaneous happening. Nothing was planned or calculated.

What did you get out of your affair?

What I got out of it was fun, passion, confirmation that I was worth more than a cook, cleaner and mother. I was with someone who would rather be throwing me onto a bed than folding his sweater. I got confidence to find a new, passionate life. And that’s exactly what I did. That confidence has changed me forever.

How long did it carry on for?

The affair carried on for about 6 months.

If it ended, why?

It ended, bizarrely enough, as his marriage ended. He told his wife that he needed to leave her and went into meltdown. He needed to sort out his head and our relationship was one of the things which didn’t fit in with his new found freedom. I was devastated. He’d made me realise that I wanted and needed more out of life and then, suddenly, he’d moved on to a new phase and I was stuck, alone, in an unhappy marriage.

Would you do it again?

Would I do it again? In a heartbeat! My lover can’t take all the credit for my new life. There is someone I love dearly now who has pushed me further towards finding myself than my first lover ever could. I don’t know whether you’d describe it as an affair. It’s certainly not conventional.

He is in a full, wonderful loving relationship with his wife. And he has other lovers too. Whether they love him as I do, and whether he tells them that he loves them, the way he does me, I don’t know. Quite frankly, that’s none of my business. He gives me the excitement and passion I need and accepts that I will find it elsewhere too. With him, I have freedom, passion, love and a soul mate who knows me better than anyone else.

Through him I have realised that I am not a monogamous person. Even if I was happy in my marriage, I’m sure I would ‘cheat’ again. And would I regret anything? Only the things I didn’t do.

Tuesday, November 10th, 2009 Real Life Adultery Stories

TAGS: Adultery, confessions

8 Comments to Housewife Confessions: Adultery

Aurangzeb
December 8, 2010

This is the tale of a promiscuous woman who needs a lot of sex.

Lana
May 25, 2011

Love it! Very similar to my story. I have been with my “lover” for nearly 3 years now and although I have certain regrets, there’s never a part of me that would take it all back.

I too was the “picture perfect wife and mother”…with my husband for nearly 20 years. Nobody (including myself) would have ever guessed I would have ended up in an affair.

And yes, I am highly sexual…always have been so it works out perfectly!

Mamba
May 26, 2011

Why don’t you just leave your husband if he is not good enough and you can all the men you want? instead of using him as a security blanket because you’re scared to face life on your own? You seem to know would you would regret, or you leave..You not the thrill is to lie and use somebody..

ELMER MANZO
July 17, 2011

You said you are a church-goer. Have you ever listened to sermons about the 10 Commandments? Having done all these and without any regret or guilt, speaks a lot about your spirituality. You admitted that even if you are in a happy marriage, you would still cheat. Then, you are nothing but a promiscous woman; a cheater without conscience.

I pity your husband. Too bad for children having a mother lacking of morality. What will you teach your children. The moslem people have all the reasons to accuse so-called Christians–immoral people. Christianity should have set the high moral standards but sad to say, Christians have copied the life-style of those who don’t believe in God and who do these things with liberty and freedom of conscience. After all, in their minds there is no God to be accountable to.

Your family is middle class; thanks to your hard-working husband. He is your security. It’s nice to fool around with other men who would not commit themselves to you other than give you the pleasure of sex. But you always have a husband as your security. Think well, there is no secret that will not be revealed. You better repent and tell your husband what you have done if you love and respect him. Both of you should get counselling so that he will know where he had failed you. If your husband can forgive you, then renew your marriage vows. That way, you can redeem yourself from ignominous shame, pain, and guilt if ever your husband finds out your illicit affairs.

Pray to God for forgiveness and ask Him to prepare your husband of the consequences of your acts. Remember, if there is no repentance, there is no forgiveness. And if there is no repentance, your conscience is stiffled, you will continue going down the road of destruction, losing your husband who loves you, your home, the respect of your children, and the people who knows you. Without repentance, you will go down in your life’s journey as a promiscous, adulterous wife.

EveryBodyHurts
October 20, 2011

Aw! You should have told your husband what you need. Instead you just become something that people loathed.

If your husband is taking you for granted you should do something about it. Its very easy to take anyone for granted and I’m sure you take your husband for granted too. The problem is the lack of effort on both part. You should talk about it and ask help.

Continue your sinfully fun journey in your own peril. There something they say about playing with the Devil.

Mada
December 18, 2011

I don’t understand how people could cheat their spouse. In my humble opinion, their reslly is no justifiable time when anyone in a relationship has the right to look for things outside of a relationship without letting their partner know. It’s as simple as this. If things aren’t working out and if you’re not interested in making them work, then, by all means, you should separate from the partner rather than deceiving them and betraying their trust. It’s sad to say that these days no body really cares about these values anymore.

Rusty Nail
December 26, 2011

I worked as a bartender for about 20 years,in fine dining cocktail lounge,so many females came in,just to talk to me,trying to hit on me,telling me their sex-less life-all they wanted was have someone to hold them-make love with a passion-and just walk away,no-comments-on some sort of time/each time they needed space.WELL_as for me I went home each night with a passion–we had 7 children in 10 years,So don”t put these lonely females,All they really need is just some one to talk to and put a smilE on their face and a spring in there walk,I DID AND I FELT LIKE I WAS ALL THEY NEEDED.

jed
January 5, 2012

what is a pierced fanny? i go to church too but that is not what makes me a christian. Don’t say you go to church, anyone can go to church. Question is do you live your life for God? Look for me a man, i get tempted too. Since i have been married for the last 5 years at least two women have wanted to get to know me beyond the realm of work life. They gave me their numbers but i don’t call. But that is not to say that i am not attracted to other women myself. Where are we with God will determine whether or not we choose to please him or our selves. If there is one bible passage that gives me the shakes it’s this one; Samuel 2:30 “far be it from me says’ God, for those who honor me, I will honor, to those that despise me I will lightly esteem”.

Serious Adultery

Marital affairs, adultery and general naughtiness